i'm naked inside my fear

March 08, 2003 | 2:56 pm
the last twelve hours.

oh, the last twelve hours.

we got one worked over on us, and we spent a lot of money we didn't have, but for the most part, it was a good time.

it all happened with me getting cut early from work. i left at 1:30, and i got a call that jake was at my house so i was headed home.

well, before that, even. last week jake took me fishing. i loved being on the water with him; sharing so much of what makes him who he is. we made plans to meet after i got off work friday night to stay awake at my house until daybreak when we would go bass fishing again.

so i get off work early, and as i'm leaving, i almost literally run over my roommate jen and her friend kyle. they're all fucked up and they want us to take part.

so i kind of talked him into it, you know? so it's my fault. he was disappointed because he wanted to take me on the water and we had a whole day planned to just each other and he didn't want to share that with other people and/or substances.

which, god, i can respect. so much. and i should have listened to him. i should have just let it go, gone to sleep like a good girl and had a blast on the water the next morning.

what i should have done is the right thing; what happened is so much more.

and all i can say is that it's now 3:08pm and i've been up for 28 hours and i don't think i'll be able to go to sleep anytime soon.

and i don't think jake's parents are going to let him have anything to do with me. they know something's up.

i advised him to say he drank too much at my apartment and puked and stuff so we didn't go fishing.

i can just only hope and pray he can keep his shit straight in front of them.

before | after