i'm naked inside my fear

August 6, 2002 | 10:56 a.m.
Jeff told me today that he'd leave his jeep grand cherokee for me when he and my mom go out of town tomorrow. That's going to be nice - to have a car. I can't wait! Really. There is so much that I need to take care of that I can't ask anyone to bring me to do. I think the first thing I'm going to do is go to the rec and stay for a long long time and workout alone. I miss that - and I feel like I need it to de-stress!

My mom felt like shit after yesterday and she brought me a yoga video and a check for $100. Maybe I should fight with her more often. I could use more $100 checks.

All I want to do now is get off work, go home, and do my yoga video. I wanted to do it this morning after I walked with Andy but it's a 75 minute video. I should get home around 5:15 - so I'll do it then. I really can't wait. This is pathetic.

This is what I have to look forward to when I get home: yoga video, playing with Tequila and Baby, and watching Being John Malkovich. This is going to be an exciting day.

Patrick called me last night and just wanted to... talk I guess. And I didn't. I'm not much for sitting on the phone and making conversation when there is none. I really don't even talk to most of my friends on the phone. So finally, at 9:45, I told him I had to go to sleep because I was tired and I had to wake up early. I know he knows I was lying, but I'm not so concerned with it.

I am never attracted to boys who like me.

I'm not talking to Adam because of something shitty that he said yesterday, and it's actually been nice. I'm not in the mood to be talking to him, or anyone for that matter, anyway. it's working out nicely.

What else? not a whole lot is going on.

Laura

"We all walk through this world alone/ we keep ourselves untouched, unknown"

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