i'm naked inside my fear

August 5, 2002 | 12:07 p.m.
I almost had a break down today. I'm okay now.

Fucking Chevy Collision Center. Note to all: don't believe a word they fucking tell you.

I won't have my car until Thursday. I won't be able to go to work for EG until next week.

That will be two fucking weeks of a paycheck that I won't have. How am I going to pay my bills?

Maybe I won't. Maybe I won't leave my apartment (except to go to walk with Andy and go to work, and maybe go to the rec...) and I'll hole up and be sad all week. Maybe not. We'll see.

this week/weekend was more than wild. I still don't know how I feel about the events that occured. All I know is that the week went by quickly because I drank myself stupid. This is not a healthy thing.

I did not run, nor did I go to the informational meeting for the marathon. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to fucking do it anymore. I didn't even wake up until 2:20pm Saturday. That's fucking pathetic.

I feel fucking pathetic today. All I want to do is go home and go to sleep and never wake up.

I have a plan to make myself feel better, but I can't say.

The month of August DOES suck for me.

Laura

"and i don't want you to feel sorry for me/ you never gave us a chance to be"

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