i'm naked inside my fear

January 08, 2004 | 8:01 pm
i have been sick this entire week. sex in the city did not heal me, and i had hoped it would. i have instead resorted to reading a novel that has been on my shelf for a year -- The Virgin Suicides, a movie i adore and have watched several times. i am only disappointed in the book because the movie is such a beautiful reflection of it and there are several pages that exist in the movie verbatim. this, obviously, makes the book less interesting. I don't like reading the books after the movies anyway; i cannot escape the faces of the actresses and actors as they are in the movie, and the descriptions of them in the books do nothing for me.

i have found it easy to wake up every day and get myself geared up to go to the student rec center for my mandatory workout session. i have, so far this week, met and exceeded my workout goals, even though i have been sick. i find it difficult to do other things, though, and have not brought myself to return my movies or sex in the city tapes; i have not gone to a bookstore to find a book i would enjoy reading. i tell myself this is something i will do next week but at the same time i realize i have the same fifteen things on my to-do list since finals week three weeks ago. i feel as if i have accomplished so much and so little at the same time. where is my time going?

i am waking up, working out, watching movies or reading. i am not scheduling a much needed dental appointment or a doctor's check-up (or, visit, since i'm sick), i have not made time to go to the store to get medicine for myself and i have not found a new and interesting book to read over break. none on my list are of dire need (besides, of course, my dental appointment) yet i feel inclined to finish every last one before break is over.

relax, laura. you have two more weeks.

i have to work tonight at the dreaded tiger bar.

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