i'm naked inside my fear

January 12, 2004 | 5:22 pm
due to my feeling of illness and my inability to function properly (my knee was hurting terribly so i tried to not bend it too much) my exercise goals were not met this week.

they shall resume this week.

i actually went to the gym earlier today (around one) and only lasted 10 minutes on the cardio machine. i felt dizzy and spacy and decided that i should maybe spend some time in the weight room until i felt better. i did not feel better as i did weights and at one time even counted my heartrate to be above 160. it seemed my body was pushing extra hard to do the things i normally do.

i decided to leave the gym and will return after my work meeting tonight. i think it was a combination of being sick all week and starting my period (an addition to my already iron-poor blood) and i was worried that i would black out for more than three seconds and freak myself (or someone else) out. instead i used the gift card my mom got me to get some groceries (veggies and fruit and tuna lunch to go) and i came home.

i've been in bed since then and am now only moving about to get ready to go to said work meeting tonight.

which will most likely be bitch session due to thursday's events.

if i haven't mentioned (i'm too lazy at this point to go back and check) my boss at the tiger allowed me to go home and then got too drunk to handle himself and called me at 1:20am and again at 3:30am to tell me he was angry i went home as the bar was too busy for one bartender. he said i should have stayed to help, and to remedy the situation we will all go to work when we were scheduled. the next day when we talked he rehashed the entire conversation adding to it that this was the reason we argued so much before when i quit.

more later.

before | after