i'm naked inside my fear

October 30, 2002 | 1:02 am
i talked to her.

we talked about the drug deal and dustin's engagment and my stress levels and my depression.

we didn't talk about my eating disorder. i am not ready for that just yet.

we talked for an hour or so. i thought i was going to cry but i didn't.

she seemed worried about me, but she also seemed to be taking it lightly.

take me seriously, damnit.

i told her i was sick today. i didn't tell her i was too depressed to get up and do anything with myself. i didn't tell her that i was so stressed out about my test that i didn't even read over my notes.

i didn't tell her that i'm scared to death to see vivian cole.

but i mentioned that i may be medicated again, and that i want to get better.

and then she turned on the TV to watch about the sniper, and i took that as my exit.

and now i have laundry to fold and it's 1:05am. i'll do it... later.

not like i will ever have time.

p.s. i hung some halloween spider web stuff all over the door and i'm putting on a halloween "scary" cd (on repeat) for when jenny gets home. she's NOT going to be impressed when she walks in at 3am to this :) funny, huh?

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