i'm naked inside my fear

August 29, 2004 | 11:35 pm
i have to admit i'm feeling pretty pathetic right now.

last night i worked my ass off and didn't make a dollar.

well, i made a dollar. about seventeen of them.

here's the deal: i went into work at 8:00. it takes me almost 30 minutes to get to work, so i had to be up and running by 7:30. when i got to work there was nothing to do. the crowd doesn't come until about 9:30. i do my prep stuff and sit around.

when people started coming, i started working. i'm cocktailing for now at this place called seville. so i'm running around this big ass place taking drink orders. the problem was, most of the people are old and don't really drink much. they'd drink one drink and then that was it. the band sucked. the old people went home. i didn't have any customers.

what i did have was people walking through and dropping their glasses on a table and going on to the next bar. all that meant for me was that i was bussing tables.

i hope i proved that i can bus a table.

so i worked an 8 hour shift and got off at 3am and made 2.50/hr plus my $17 in tips. i didn't break minimum wage.

i'm going from making money back home to this. sure, since january or february i haven't really worked a lot for tips. (i didn't make tips at nino's, just an hourly wage.) i'm not stupid though, and i do know what i should have been making per hour.

it was not, however, less than 5.15/hr.

i could work a school job and put up with a lot less shit and make that, and more. i would make $7/hr working at UWF and have a much easier job working much better hours.

who wants to have to work until 3am for nothing?

needless to say, as the night went on, my mood plummeted. i did not wake up happy.

in fact, i did not wake up at all. i seriously didn't even open my eyes until 4:30pm. i guess that shows how tired i was from my meeting ryan the other night.

did i write about that?

i don't think so.

sometime after ryan got off of work and i got home from seville friday night, we decided we were each going to drive halfway and stay at a hotel. we didn't get there until about 6am and checked out around 2pm. not only did i not get a lot of sleep, i had to drive back almost two hours to get home. i only had time to take a short nap and then get to work.

so this weekend was my beach weekend and i didn't make it out there. i worked all week and didn't make any money. i've met a couple of nice people but i haven't done anything fun. i have school work to do but i don't have any motivation right now.

and i want to rent a movie but i'm so dirt poor i don't even want to spend four dollars at blockbuster.

if they're even open this late in this shit town.

help me!!!

before | after