i'm naked inside my fear

September 04, 2004 | 3:27 am
i got a package from laura's parents today. i'd written them a few weeks back and my mom told me about a week ago i'd recieved something from them. included in the package was a card and a book and a memorial page of compiled things about laura. one thing was an email she sent to some of our old friends from high school. included were exerts from letters laura's other friends had written. the card said they'd found my diary online and they'd thought it was someone else's. they said they were happy to know the true author. they said they knew that God had picked the day to take Laura from before the day she was born.

and the thing is, i really believe that they believe that. i find it amazing. i know they have been and maybe even still are very sad about the loss of their beloved daughter, but they do not see the outcome as a loss.

what i'm trying to say is, how is it that some people view death as a positive thing (for the deceased) and they move on while others of us hold on to the losses and feel overwhelmed when they're piled up?

when i read that they had read my entries i thought back about the ones i've included laura in. i thought of the entry when my fish died and how i felt that everything else around me was dying also. i thought, what right do i have to grieve when they are making it?

and what right do i have? but does that make it easier? that i don't have a right?

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