i'm naked inside my fear

February 25, 2003 | 5:37 am
it's 5:37am and i still haven't gone to sleep.

i can't plead insomnia as i have yet to attempt to sleep. that and i slept most of the day today.

i worked tonight and after closing i hung out with three guys i work with. nothing exciting, but i really feel like i'm missing out in a sense being with jake.

and not that i would have, or would have had any INTENT to kiss any of these boys... even that they were boys or girls for that matter. it was just me and three other people i had never really talked to hanging out and conversating.

i did not break any rules or violate any girlfriend ethics tonight. i did not for one second wish i was not seeing jake, or anything of that sort.

i just know that being involved with someone takes away a big part of your life, and that sucks. and as much as i have avoided this, i see it now, tonight... as i stayed out until 5:30am with two exams at 9am...

i see that i don't get these experiences anymore. and yeah, that sucks.

before | after