i'm naked inside my fear

september 11, 2002 | 9:46 p.m.
i just had another episode, and i am very very sick.

i was studying and the dizziness hit me - and suddenly i was on the bathroom floor in a heap like i'd swallowed a bottle of ipecac syrup. first, then again, and then again... and when i thought it was over, i climbed up to the counter and started to wash out my mouth, put toothpaste on my toothbrush - and it hit me again. i bolted around and threw my body down so quickly i hit my head on the corner of the sink and almost blacked out for a little bit.

i think it's over now, though - but i'm scared to lay down.

what is my body doing to me?

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UPDATE: t'was not over. I ended up in a drink water/puke it up cycle all night. When I finally decided I HAD to pass out (or go to the emergency room) I grabbed the trashcan and set it by my bed. Luckily I didn't need to use it - although I did wake up to puke again, I could always make it to the bathroom.

This morning the felines were laying in the corner of the kitchen where the trashcan usually is. They were loving it... "ah, extra space..."

The refeeding process started today, and I kept it light. I feel okay now, although I'm iffy about eating anything heavy (or, spicy like I'd eaten for dinner last night - not so good.)

but, alas, I will make it through.

before | after