i'm naked inside my fear

July 30, 2002 | 6:36 p.m.
Lets see how much time I can waste before I get to working on the stuff I have to do. Isn't that how this whole site came up anyway? Me wasting time rambling on about nothing? Mostly watermelon and tongue piercings and stuff.

And boys.

Since I don't have my car, and need to be working on this stuff for school, I thought I'd stay up at school tonight and get some work done. Yeah right.

The first thing I did at 4:30 (when I got off work) was change into running clothes and run 1/3-way around the lake and back. I wasn't going to run the whole thing because it was raining and I wanted to go to the Rec. I got to the rec a MESS - soaked and muddy and oh-so-cute and the first two people I see are Brad and his roommate Daryl? D-something. Anyway, Brad sees me like this more than he sees me looking normal, so I was okay with that. I did some weights and befriended the Precor for 30 minutes and walked back to Himes where my mom is working in the testing lab. That's when I decided I was going to come to Middleton and get to work.

Yeah fucking right.

So today sucked, yesterday sucked more, and I'm wondering when things aren't going to suck. Maybe Tim and Rhett and the rest of Liquid Sand will improve my mood [LIFE] tonight. Maybe not. Maybe Smear will be there and buy me drinks all night and I won't even feel guilty about not going out with him and I'll just forget about all the things that are bothering me. I know Ryan's working the front so he won't be able to hook-up my bar tab.

This is terrible, it's 6:40 and I'm worried about the bartab.

Time to get to work. I've got to take this test tomorrow and get a B to get an A in the class. Pray for me, I'll need it!!!

Laura

"Is this a test? It has to be,

Otherwise I can't go on."

before | after