i'm naked inside my fear

July 8, 2002 | 6:17 p.m.
Another day.

Dana's 19th bday. I don't feel like calling her, so I probably won't. Besides, it's already late in the day.

I got to drive John Graves' corvette today - what a thrill. I hit 75 on a little side street by the office. Unfortunatly, when I picked it up from the inspection place, the road was wet from the constant rain here in Louisiana and I was too scared to get above 50. Candy apple red with red leather interior. TO DIE FOR. It was amazing. That was probably the best part of my day.

Brian is confusing me to the point that I don't care anymore. I mean, I do, don't get me wrong, but is it going to be worth the headache? If I knew it would all eventually work out, it would be more than worth waiting for. I just don't know, and neither does he.

Jason made a few comments today, and then said, "oh I'm sorry, I forgot that I can't hit on you" and I almost just told him, "yeah, you can" because when Brian and I had that talk I left feeling so worthless and incomplete - and going on a date with Jason would fix that (?) Maybe or maybe not. I don't like him, though, and I know I don't... I don't like the way he talks down to me like he can fix me and whatever is going wrong, and the way that he thinks he can have whatever he wants (including me) -- all the more reason to resist him.. but hell, who knows??

Incubus is in the air. still. I can't wait to get my pictures that BRIAN and I took from before the concert. Even though we only took two. Pathetic. They wouldn't let us bring a camera in, though, and we didn't take any afterwards. I don't even want to talk about after the concert - I fell for that boy quick and hard and it hurts like hell.

And who would have thought? Laura and Brian. Amanda and Jamie admitted to me that they thought it was odd, that I'd end up with some athletic buff. That would be Jason - no thanks.

What else - not too much is going on. I have a meeting tomorrow night for this marathon I want to attempt!! and then Pot Luck at Carolyn's. I think I'll puke.

Laura

before | after