i'm naked inside my fear

June 16, 2002 | 11:45 p.m.
I had a really good night last night.

I wasn't going to go out, but around 11:45 I called Meghan K. and decided I was going to New Orleans and she was coming. Brian and Ryan were in the quarter after Shane's wedding, so we met up with them and some of Brian's friends. Just hanging out with them was fun. I've decided that I do like Brian, but things are going to either not happen at all or go very slowly and carefully. After all, we DO work together.

One of his friends told me he might be going to UNO for business school, and Brian confirmed that. i don't want him to go! But, it's up to him, you know? I don't have any say so whatsoever.

All of his friends all night were like, "OK, you two like each other, you should just kiss. okay, one, two, three KISS" and I wouldn't, I was just laughing (they were all drunk, and since I wasn't, I thought it was so funny) and finally, he did kiss me "just to make them happy" and I made sure he knew he should ask for my consent next time. Well, I hope there is a next time. As much as I wanted him to kiss me, I've got to really make sure things are going to happen between us because if the bottom falls out, I've still got to work with him for a long time!!

I left New Orleans around 6:00ish, and got home around 7:00. The drive was miserable coming home! I thought I was going to die. I slept until 5:00 today, woke up, and went to see my dad. I only stayed there for about an hour or so, but I'm glad I went. I'm the only one of his four kids that went, and the other three didn't even call. Oh well, that's them.

So I'm going to see Brian at work tomorrow, and that makes my stomach turn!! damn, huh?

It's bedtime! night night!!

"when you talk to me it's painful/ you don't know what you do to this heart of mine"

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