i'm naked inside my fear

June 3, 2002 | 8:52 p.m.
my tummy HURTS.

bad, huh?

I woke up earlier than is healthy this morning, worked out, got my mom a present, returned training day (which is BAD ASS, by the way), did a little shopping for the apartment (got some dinner ware! go me!!) and went to work at EG for 1:00. After work I came home, went to eat for my mom's bday and did the whole cake thing, went to the gym again and to the tanning bed... and guess what I want to do now? SLEEP! But I can't =(

I've decided, as talking to a friend, that i have a big problem with commitments. more so with boys, as in relationships. and i've decided why. I'm tired of getting my heart ripped out and shredded into little tiny pieces and then handed back in a jar. that sounds pretty nasty, but it's an accurate depiction of what happened in my last real relationship. and the part that sucked the most - i was the one who shredded it becaue i didn't think it was going to work out. (we're not talking about jared either, sad as it is, he doesn't even count on my list. neither do lance or clint or michael or joe. JESUS i sound like a bitch) buuutttt

who knows when that's going to change, or if it ever will. Don't get me wrong, I've met some amazingly great guys, just not ones that I can date. Take it for what you will.

Anyway, time to sit on my butt and do nothing. I need that right now!!

night night

Laura

"In love, In no belief

Never found inside of Me

Built these walls up so high

Needed my room to breathe"

before | after