i'm naked inside my fear

May 12, 2002 | 7:51 p.m.
I just ate dinner with my mom and I'm hurting bigtime. She doesn't know about my tongue, and it's not that I wouldn't tell her, it's just that I never got around to telling her yesterday and I know she wouldn't be too impressed if I told her today. She hasn't noticed that I'm talking funnier, but then again, I haven't been in the most talkative mood today. I had to chew on the left side of my mouth to avoid food hitting my tongue, and I had to cut my food into dime-sized pieces. I'm not so sure that she noticed. And now that I didn't tell her, I feel like when I do tell her, she's going to be upset that I took so long to tell her. Does that make sense? It does to me.

I finally got around to studying for my test (which is at 7:30 tomorrow morning, which is INSANE because I don't ever schedule classes that early because I'd be stupid to think I would go) and then my mom asked me to fix her hair. She always wants me to fix it because she has this mental block that she can't fix her hair/makeup/outfits without me. That was fine, I didn't mind. Then I went back to studying, and decided, lets do the stupidest thing ever, turn on the TV. So, I did. I watched a Madonna special on VH1 (mom's that rock) and then decided, yeah, I should take a nap. That will help me study when I wake up!!

That was about 2:30pm, I'm gonna say. So, I wake up at **6:00** - that's more sleep then I get on a normal night - and start studying. Then my mom and her boyfriend Jeff come back and start making dinner, which is semi-distracting, but I manage. I get through ten pages of nutrition 2010 notes and it's time for dinner. So, now that dinner is over, I can't concentrate because my tongue is killing me. I thought about ripping it out, but I decided that might not be the best thing. So here we are.

I have a paper on _The Fall of the House of Usher_ by Poe that is due tomorrow, and I've only written 600 of the 1500 words. I have two finals, one at 7:30 and one at 12:30, and I have work from 9-11:30. You'd think that I would have been intelligent enough to not schedule work then, but, no. The way I figure - I wouldn't be studying ANYWAY, may as well do something productive.

Well, I'm off to try and write my paper... good luck Laura...

James and I the night before he went back to the Marines.

"the needle tears a hole, that old familiar sting"

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