i'm naked inside my fear

December 24, 2002 | 9:28 am
i'm about to go see vivian. i'm not excited about it in the least; in fact, i would do anything to cancel right now.

i stayed up with jake until 6:30am. i am as bad for that boy as he is for me, if not worse.

i drank myself stupid. i know i'm not supposed to, but i gave myself permission.

it all started at the office party we had for melissa. five people, one fifth of crown, and two bottles of wine.

bad, bad. i went to my mom's to open gifts and took off for rich0ux's downtown to have a drink before b@r-t's christmas party.

things got messy there and we went to the club for me to pick up a paycheck. that only led to more drinking, and eventually we left. jake drove my car because i was seeing quadrouple. i got madly sick when i got home.

so, the last thing i want to do is to go see vivian. i can't tell her any of this, and i fear my face says it all.

i sure was sad to bring jake back to his car this morning.

before | after