i'm naked inside my fear

April 29, 2003 | 4:20 pm
I've decided that I just don't like anyone at all.

Sure, I like some people, for some of the time. I can even really really like them for years. Jenny, for example, has been a friend of mine since I was four months shy of seventeen. That's three and a half years.

And today, when she came by, I could have laid her out on the ground. I wanted to beat the hell out of someone who used to be one of my closest friends. I don't consider myself to be a particularly violent person. In fact, I would have never thought anything like that of myself before.

But someone who can bring danger into your house and watch you get pushed around and expect everything to be okay with an apology?

I don't care that she was one of my closest friends. Honestly, I don't even want to forgive her. Jenny will never grow up if she doesn't have people being solid with her.

She was surprised when I did not allow her into the house when she came back this afternoon to pick up a "few more things." Each and every time she's left, I've asked, "have everything? I'm getting rid of what you don't take" and she's said yeah, she's got everything. so now I'm cleaning things out, throwing away what I don't need.

Do I have time for this nonsense?

before | after