January 04, 2004 | 12:53 pm
It seems I have done nothing productive lately. In certain ways I have � I have gone to work, I have finished moving and almost found a place for everything. I wake up and I am busy � I am so busy I am tired all of the time. But when I pause to think of what I have been doing my mind goes blank.

I have not been drinking. At all. In fact, when I refused a shot the other night, I told someone I would not be drinking until Mardi Gras. I guess that will work. After Mardi Gras I can give up drinking for Lent, although I am not a confirmed Catholic.

My eyes want to shut now, this late in the day, and my throat burns. I am not sick, as these symptoms will go away in a short hour if I just move around. I think I am allergic to something, but I don�t know what it is as this house is new and all of my furniture from my apartment has been brought here.

Maybe I am allergic to myself.

After work I am so tired that I cannot sleep. After working eleven hours straight on new year�s eve I was so sore it hurt and I had to stay awake to wind down. I have watched several movies in my DVD collection, and although I have sixty or so I am becoming tired of them. Without an antennae I do not get local channels and the cable is not yet hooked up here. I finished the last of my unread books, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and I have not found another book worth reading. I am running out of things to do to wind down when I get home from work and my bath is not yet functioning so I cannot soak in a warm bath or enjoy a hot shower until I have my own. At this point in time I am using the one attached to the master bedroom, and my mom�s fianc� has been sleeping in there.

Yesterday I went to the gym for the first time in over a week (it was closed for the holiday and then again for the new year) and ran into an old friend. We talked almost as long as I spent on the precor (only 40 minutes, I couldn�t push myself to do more as I felt so tired) and his life really seems to be coming together. He�s graduated and is going to dental school and has talked with his long term girlfriend about marriage. I am not envious of him, just happy.

I�ll close now. I think I�m going to try to make myself go to the gym. That feels productive.

They are coming tomorrow to hook up my cable internet.

before | after

miss me?

make a difference - July 12, 2007
in short - February 20, 2007
gameday - October 14, 2006
quickie - October 02, 2006
roxie bear - July 06, 2006