i'm naked inside my fear

November 23, 2003 | 12:21 am
i bought diet dr. pepper today.

story of my life. i don't even like it, but it's okay. i settled for it because they didn't have diet barqs and i'm tired of diet coke.

just like gabe, who i am emotional about and dropping tears for right now.

and i'm not crying because i think he meant something to me and i lost him. i'm crying for the investment of time and how i broke his heart and how lonely i will be now that i've finally ended things with him (again).

i'm crying because of the terrible things i've had to say to get him to understand.

"i don't want to be with you." X 15

because i don't. we don't connect!

and it hurts to hurt someone, and it hurts to be alone. so it's always been easier. convenient.

i've settled.

and i'm breaking out and it's breaking me apart.

before | after