i'm naked inside my fear

May 28, 2003 | 3:37 am
so they caught him.

TSK, that is. the serial killer.

and when i heard, part of me thought i can breathe again but i don't know if that's the case.

five women in the louisiana area. five for sure. there are still about twenty five unsolved murders. who knows if this guy has anything to do with them.

derrick lee, i hope you burn in hell.

i haven't ever thought of myself as someone who supports the death penalty. i just can't think of any other justice. he's been in and out of jail for years. he's been in trouble with the law almost annually, as the paper states. obviously he has not been "rehabilitated" or whatever they say they do in jail.

he's gotten out.

and i know he won't, this derrick lee, ever see the outside again. i know they wouldn't let him out. there would be a public outrage. he put us all in danger, and he's going to pay for it.

but putting him in a jail cell, feeding him square meals and giving him the opportunity to watch TV and lift weights and play basketball and whatever else?

even giving him the right to live? is that justice?

it's odd to think you feel so strongly about something and then actually go through the experience and realize you were ignorant all along. that's how i feel now.

there have been times i didn't have cable. there were many times i didn't have square meals. and the times that i did my mother worked her ass off to give me a life that i could live comfortably.

i'm not saying prison is comfortable. i wouldn't know. in fact, i'm more than sure it won't be for mr. derrick lee. but should be be allowed the things so many people in poverty today cannot afford? should we, as tax payers, support this man who has raped, beaten, and slain (by slitting throats of) five women? five that we KNOW of. do i pay taxes to support this man who has sucked the joy out of my running alone and made me afraid for my life when i walk to the laundry room after dark?

and then comes the realization that this is not a movie and this is not a one time thing. just as this has happened today it could happen tomorrow and five more women could be gone just like that. i could very easily be one of them, considering my lifestyle (working until 3am and living alone)

and once you think of all these things, you realize that you never really are safe, and that there are so many crazy and sick people in this world that no one can protect you.

and then you're me, awake at 3:45am after a long night of work, begging for sleep because you've got to wake up and work again at ten in the morning.

and that's when you really can't sleep.

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