i'm naked inside my fear
the naked truth.


May 11, 2004 | 8:12 pm
my medication has been helping a great deal, i think. i can certainly feel the anti-anxiety effects, but it will take some time to fight the depression. i'm going to see toni again on thursday. last time she tried this hypnosis-like exercise on me that i didn't find very effective. she told me to look out for my dreams afterwards, and i did. i only remember that one dream of my mother commiting suicide. this morning i woke up dreaming about shopping for a wedding dress, and i'm not sure if it was for me or for my sister.

weddings have been talked about a lot lately, and i cannot disclose at this point why. i'm not sure if anyone in my immediate family reads this, and it would be disasterous if they read about it here. i shall wait another week to disclose that information.

this weekend i'm going to see my brother in dallas. my sister and her boyfriend jake will be there and ryan's coming along with me. although i'm not nervous about him meeting my brother and his wife right now, i'm sure i will be later. we're going to see ryan's brother's band, anomaly, at the varsity on friday night and we're leaving for dallas right afterwards.

i'm already tired.

we're going to stay saturday and saturday night in dallas and come back on monday. then we're headed out again - tuesday morning we're driving to pensacola for me to look at apartments and jobs and such. we're staying tuesday night and wednesday night and coming back to reality on thursday.

how i love spending time with my ryan. i am really looking forward to the trip to florida... we're not going to be at the beach, per se, but we will be able to be in the beautiful weather together. and i'll get to see the school i'm attending next year for the first time. i'm really excited!

it's not even 9:00 and i'm exhausted. i wish i could sleep but i'm babysitting. isn't he ready for bed yet??

damnit.

before | after

miss me?

make a difference - July 12, 2007
in short - February 20, 2007
gameday - October 14, 2006
quickie - October 02, 2006
roxie bear - July 06, 2006