i'm naked inside my fear

April 16, 2004 | 12:21 am
i can't seem to sleep right now so i guess this is as good a time as any to update.

tomorrow will be a long day - i'm here with sam, babysitting right now as he sleeps. he's been throwing up all day and he's been sleeping since i got here at 6pm. i recently moved him to his bedroom where he'll remain until probably noonish tomorrow. whatever the doctor gave him knocked him on his ass. poor kid.

ryan's at work, and i'm too tired to look at my school work. it would probably put me to sleep, you know, if i just looked at it. i'd much rather complain about how i can't sleep, though, than actually do it. i guess part of me feels like if i go to sleep i'm going to be missing something -- or that i'll forget something. it's almost like if i stay awake, there will be more hours in the day tomorrow for all of the things i need to do.

god bless anxiety disorder.

maybe if i write it all out i'll feel better about it. that's what they say to do anyway. okay. tomorrow. i'll be with sam until i talk to the mother of the sam's friend, jordan. i'm not quite sure when i can bring him to jordan's house, but sometime before that i have to make a 1:30pm class and iron and shower and be at work at 5pm. if you know anything about the traffic in baton rouge, even though i only work 6 miles from my house, i'll have to be in the car for about 35 minutes. that includes coming home from school -- i leave school at 2:40 and arrive home around 3:10. it's even worse getting to sam's house and then to work. i need to devise a plan to get all of my stuff ironed and get my body clean before i head off to class since i surely won't have time afterwards.

and after work ryan will meet me and we will go to a show anomaly and jakkmove are putting on at the 415 music hall in port allen. before the show, though, i've got to change (obviously) and clean my room to a respectable manner, as i have only slept in it one night since returning from the beach and my things are strung about the floor and dresser and such.

so, okay. got it all out. i still don't feel much better.

before | after