July 12, 2005 | 12:07 am
i don't come around that much anymore. i guess i just keep it inside. somehow i've managed to pretend for long enough that i'm not stressed about life, money, relationships, and my constant struggle with depression.
is it weird to be stressed about my depression? because i totally am! it's like i'll never know when i'm going to have an episode and feel horrible -- if i make plans a day in advance, will i wake up feeling miserable and not want to look at my thighs in anything?
see that's usually how it goes -- when other things are really bothering me, i blame it on my body. it works! but then i don't want to get out of bed or face a mirror for days.
it really sucks when i have shit to do, you know. there are times when i've skipped class in the past because i felt so ugly i didn't want anyone to see me. weird. now i can't skip class because my prof. takes attendance and it's summer school, so it really matters. damn.
so here i am again, feeling down and out and being forced into normal human being things.
i only work three shifts this entire month and i'm broke as a joke -- and going to new york august 3! how the fuck am i going to go to new york without any money?
fuuuck.
anyway, enough soul searching. i'll pretend enough to try to get some sleep.

before | after

miss me?

make a difference - July 12, 2007
in short - February 20, 2007
gameday - October 14, 2006
quickie - October 02, 2006
roxie bear - July 06, 2006