i'm naked inside my fear

May 09, 2004 | 1:07 pm
i was waiting for her to come home from work or somewhere. i don't know where she was supposed to be, but we were going to the play i got her tickets for. the tickets were my mother's day gift to her.

and she was late, which is very uncharacteristic of her. she is always punctual, and if she is running late, she'll call to tell me. she didn't call, though, and the minutes were ticking by.

i was pretty sure i was home alone, and i was going around the house doing things. i'm not quite sure what led me to her room, but right before i opened the door, i heard a noise coming from inside. i knocked but i heard nothing. there's a small crack underneath the door so i looked -- and that's when i saw her feet, off of the ground. two feet, dangling in the air. she was hanging from the top of the door frame. her feet were moving, but she was not.

and then i woke up. i don't know if i intentionally woke ryan or if i was just fighting in my sleep. i do that sometimes, you know? when i'm having a bad dream. he knows. he wakes up and wakes me up, but i usually don't remember what the dream was about.

but i remembered this one, and even clearly now a day later. i told him what i dreamt and he hugged my shivering sweat covered body. it's just a dream, baby, it's just a dream... he told me, and then he fell asleep. it took me quite a while to go back to sleep. my heart was still racing.

i know it's just a dream, but it was so real.

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