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November 25, 2002 | 6:26 pm
viv things i should go to in-patient. i can't do in-patient. i don't even have time for outpatient. it's a big enough deal for me to go to therapy sessions once a week. it's enough time as it is. dr. trist still hasn't seen me. he wanted to the other day, but jenny took the call and didn't give me the message until hours later when it was too late. he was going to fit me in. i can't go to a hospital. things are wrong with me, yes. but things are not that bad. i'm not going to kill myself. i'll try harder. i'll try to keep more food down. thank god i'm old enough to sign myself out after 72 hours. but i can't stay there 72 hours. i can't. i'm scared to go back to vivian. scared she'll admit me. and what could i do then? nothing. i'm as helpless as a young child.
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